you were gone before I could tell you (how much I love you)
by mellbell12123
Summary: Cassian/fem!reader fic where they realize they love each other when they are both captured by the Empire and they aren't sure whether they will get to tell the other


Prompt: Hey! I was wondering if you could right a cassian/fem!reader fic where they realize they love each other when they are both captured by the Empire and they aren't sure whether they will get to tell the other.

Author's notes: Wrote this a while ago and I think I posted it on tumblr but I figured I would share it here as well! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Is my beautiful face making you miss these stormtroopers? Because I don't think you've hit any." Cassian smirked.

You scoffed taking out a trooper right over Cassian's shoulder, " _Don't you wish_."

You and Cassian had been friends for as long as you could remember. He was your best friend. Your family.

You met him when you were five years old. You grew up as neighbors and the both of you became quick friends. You were very competitive children and often tried to outdo each other, which caused many issues for your parents. There were many broken bones and broken windows.

After years of growing up together, you both joined the rebellion and quickly rose to be some of the best agents.

He was your everything. You couldn't imagine your life without him.

You and Cassian were on a mission together. It wasn't a difficult one and you were having fun messing around.

You made a game out of your mission and flirted with each other, as friends of course.

Neither of you were typically affectionate people, but it was different with each other. Every hug, every hand held, every flirty smile would send a beat through your stomach. You weren't sure why you felt that way. He was your best friend. So you pushed it down and acted like it didn't happen.

The mission had gotten violent and you were in the middle of a firefight. You and Cassian were fine and holding your own. However, it all happened very quickly. You had just turned for a second, putting your back to Cassian to take out another stormtrooper when you heard a yell behind you. Whipping around you saw that Cassian was gone. You started towards where he had last been, screaming his name over the blasting guns.

But all you received in return was a hit on your head that knocked you out.

* * *

Cassian came to with a shout. He sat up racing over to the front of his cell his hands wrapping around the bars.

"Y/N?" He called out.

He didn't remember much after he was taken. He remembered being roughed up and hearing you scream his name. But he didn't know what happened to you.

He received no response and began to pace in his cell muttering to himself.

An hour later a guard came to bring him to another room. Cassian sat handcuffed to a chair waiting for someone to come in.

And then someone did.

"Ah. Agent Andor I presume."

Cassian didn't dignify the man with a response.

"I'll have you talking in no time. Or do you not want to know what happened to your little girlfriend?"

Cassian's head shot up at the mention of you, "What did you do to her?" He said through gritted teeth.

"Ah ah ah. You answer some questions for me and I'll tell you where she is."

"I'm not telling you anything.

And he didn't. He was beaten and beaten and threatened. But he didn't budge. Though he was worried he knew you could handle yourself.

Hours passed and the imperial agent grew agitated, "Fine. If you're not going to answer my questions then I'll just break you."

Cassian spat at him, "Nothing you say will ever break me."

"You're little girlfriend is dead. I killed her myself."

Cassian flinched back as if he had been hit.

"No. No. You're lying." He said calmly.

The man tsked, "Ah. That I am not." And he left the room.

"No!" Cassian screamed through the door, "You're lying. She's alive. I know she is! And she's going to burn you to the ground!"

Cassian received no response but the computer scene in the room flickered to life and on the screen was your motionless body. Cassian's heart sank and he felt as if his whole life had been ripped away from him.

You were dead?

He would never see you again? Never hold you? How could he go without your smile?

He loved you. _He loved you_.

And he never got to tell you.

* * *

You came to with a gasp. You were lying on a rough cot in a damp dark room. Alone.

Your first thought was to call out for Cassian.

"Ugh shut up girl. Some of us are trying to sleep around here."

You shot over to the tiny hole on the right side of your cell, "Have you seen a new man around here? His name is Cassian?"

The man scoffed, "Do I sound like I care? Now be quiet."

You sighed softly and went to lay down shivering slightly as you burrowed closer to the wall hoping to gather as much warmth as possible. And then you drifted off to sleep.

The next morning you woke early to the sound of a prisoner screaming.

"Let me go." The voice grew closer and you shot up trying to see down the hall.

A door slammed closed and a man grunted cursing. Once the thundering footsteps left down the hall you whispered softly, "Cassian?"

You heard a hand hit the wall and a gasp of pain before a voice spoke, "Y/N?"

You ran over to the wall banging on your firsts on it, "Yeah Cassian. Yeah, it's me."

You sighed in relief.

You could hear him pull in a deep painful breath, "Thank god you're alright. They told me you were dead."

Your heart clenched and you wished you could pull him into a hug, "No. Cassian. No. I'm here. I'm fine. I-"

The door to your cell slammed open and you scurried back into the dark corner. You felt hands grab you and you tried to resist, but they were too strong. You dug your heels in and screamed at them to let you go.

"Y/N?! Y/N?! Let her go!" You could hear Cassian screaming as you were dragged down the hall.

"Cassian!"

"You're going to be alright Y/N. I promise!"

You passed out before you reached wherever they were taking you. The last thing you thought of was Cassian.

* * *

You groaned as you rolled over, your face scratching on the itchy bedding.

"You must really love your husband."

"He's not my husband." You mumbled.

"But you love him."

You paused, "Yeah….I do. I love him." _Fuck_. "Cassian?" You called out.

"He's not here girl. They took him away. Said to tell you that he's gone."

"Gone?"

"Gone. _Dead_."

You shot up groaning in pain and clutching your side, "What?! No. He's not dead. No. No no no no."

You sunk to the floor your head falling into your hands, your fingers grasping onto your hair tightly.

 _Cassian was gone_?

How could you live without him? You couldn't live without him. You love him.

 _You love him_.

And you never got to tell him. He died not knowing how you felt. You would never see his face again. Hear his laugh. Hug him. You would never get to be with him. Kiss him. Never see his face light up when you told him that you love him. Nothing. He would never know.

You broke down for the next hour until you were able to pull yourself together with a grunt of determination.

The next few hours were spent planning out an escape. You had to get home. You bribed the man in the cell next to you into working with you. Once you told him who you were he was 100% on board.

The days passed and your plan was right on track. You stole a guard's key card. Bribed another guard. Plotted with multiple prisoners. And planned your escape.

Everything went according to plan and you got out of the base. Everybody was running away, but you just stood there looking at the dreaded base. It wasn't right just leaving it like that. They deserved to burn for what they did to Cassian.

You ran back inside and demolished the circuit room and sent up a detonator. You took off quickly running out of the base once again and you just made it up and over the hill when the base exploded into flames.

You just stood there watching the world burn as your heart completely broke within you.

You got back to base a few days later. You felt numb inside and didn't know what to make of anything. As you landed the ship you shuffled down the ramp looking broken.

Shouting made your head shoot up and you saw dozens of people running toward you. They grabbed onto you in confusion and you pulled away not wanting to be touched. It took you a second, but you were finally able to piece together what they were frantically asking you.

"Y/N?! We thought you were dead?"

Your brows furrowed, "Dead? No I'm not dead. Um Cassian though-"

"Yeah Cas-"

A commotion in the back of the group of people forming around you stopped the man from talking and the sea of people parted. And standing there was Cassian.

Cassian?

You froze your mouth dropping open.

He was alive?

Cassian slowly walked towards you as if he wasn't sure that you were really there. You stood a foot apart just staring at each other.

His head rose up and cupped your face, his thumb running gently across your cheek.

"Did you burn down that base because of me?"

You choked out a laugh, "No. I did it because I love you."

Cassian's face split wide into a smile that lit up his whole face, "I love you too."

And you pulled each other close your lips brushing against each other's. And you smiled knowing that everything was going to be alright.


End file.
